I have been privileged to have a feature on two nationally aired radio shows. In these features, I share something that I am moderately famous for called “The Cribbs Top Ten”. In this segment, I share a hilarious list of ten reasons or signs for this or that. I have chosen to share one such list here in the space on MotoringExposure that I am so graciously provided. Please enjoy.
Top Ten Cars That Are a Sure Sign of the Impending Apocalypse
10. The Bugatti Veyron
Face it folks, this is the beginning of the end. Koenigsegg, Hennessey Venom, etc. it’s all downhill from here.
9. The Hyundai Equus
8. The Smart Car
A sure sign that fuel prices and manufacturing costs are forcing us back to the horse and buggy. This is either the buggy or the back of the horse.
7. The BMW 4-Series and M5
Proof that one of the most respected brands in the world has had so much success, they have gone mad by tampering with two of the best cars in the world. Hope it works out. If not, it’s lights out!
6. The Bentley SUV
The plan is to distribute these things to the super rich soccer moms with a special pair of driving glasses. They will drive around protected from the ugliness, while blinding hapless car lovers in its path, all in an effort to overthrow the rebellion and be free to design blatantly ugly cars.
5. Dodge Caliber and Dodge Avenger
This is proof that you no longer have to design a car because there are still people who don’t care about cars that will buy them. As the enthusiast goes, so goes the world.
4. Hyundai Veracruz
The fact that a larger, cheaper, more rugged version of the Lexus RX came and went is evidence that the end of competent car shopping is near.
3. Toyota Prius
They will continue to build it as an energy saver. Meanwhile it will use more resources to build than a Rolls Royce. It will use more fuel to move across the world than a fleet of 747’s and cost more than a Chevy Spark which allegedly doesn’t save as much fuel. Finally, the elements will surrender to the Prii invasion and the world will collapse.
2. Toyota Avalon
No thanks to Robin Thicke, the lines have been blurred. Now, Grandfathers and Grandsons admire the same car, signaling the end of days.
1. Chevrolet Corvette
Chevy finally got everything right! Yep, it’s the end of the world.